Links for this show:

• Voices of the Vampire Community (VVC)
• Atlanta Vampire Alliance
• Vampirism & Energy Work Research Study (Normal and Advanced)
• Joseph Laycock’s Vampires Today

Links for this show:

• Jackie Williams’ Spiral Fire Studio, home of the Watcher Angel Tarot project
• Convocation, next year with added Tower goodness.
• The Kherete project, Open Source Kheprianism
• The Paranormal Research Society and Paranormal State
• Michelle’s LiveJournal
• Chris’s LiveJournal
• Chris’s Twitter Zombie Theatre

(Note from Chris: I’m going to start posting to my LJ account again, since it seems that most of you folks have journals there. Please friend me up…I’m not sure I can find everyone on my own!)

Links of Interest:

• Wikipedia entry on the Paths
• http://www.swamij.com/tantra.htm
• http://apodion.com/vad/article.php?id=20&aid=157
• http://www.sacredsexuality.us/history/index.html
• http://www.dpjs.co.uk/lefthandpath.html (this one’s a little all over the place, but it gives a nice, short, overview of how the phrase “Left Hand Path” entered the west)
• Demons of the Flesh: The Complete Guide to Left-Hand Path Sex Magic by Nikolas and Zeena Schreck
• The Yoga of Power: Tantra, Shakti, and the Secret Way by Julius Evola,
• The Serpent Power: The Secrets of Tantric and Shaktic Yoga by Arthur Avalon (Sir John Woodroffe).

As I said in a previous essay, I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves. Along with that, I’ve been considering the way we see other people’s stories. How we watch then, listen to them, and if they have something we feel we need, how we try to adapt their stories to fit into our own.

This is a useful exercise. When we see a person’s life through the lens of history, such as a personal hero from the past, we do not see all their failings, all their personal struggles. We see an idealized version of them, and we take the qualities of their life that we seek to emulate and attempt to graft them on to our own psyches. We learn and grow this way, trying on stories as we would garments, and when they do not suit us, casting them off.

These days, we live in an information-rich climate. The stories surrounding us, bombarding us at times, all seem to carry something that we’d like to make part of ourselves. I’ve found this to be especially true with the people I’ve met through my work in the podcasting community, where tales of individual drive, perseverance, and passion have turned normally shy people into the writers, musicians, and broadcasters we know and love. There’s much that’s worthy of being emulated there.

There are times that we select beliefs or qualities that make sense to us, only to have them cause dissonance with other, more deeply-rooted attitudes. In my life, that’s been Skepticism vs. Spirituality.

To explain: I know a number of atheists and skeptics. I’ve had a number of discussions with them, and to a great degree, their arguments make a great deal of logical sense to me. My own belief in a God (capital G) has been wavering for years now, and as I make my professional life in a world of logic, the arguments put forward by my skeptic friends are appealing to me. Facts make sense, and believing in things you cannot prove makes none.

However, on a deeper level, my inner life has always been one of mysticism, symbol, and faith. I was raised Catholic, and when I hit the point in my life when I wanted to break out of the Church, I gravitated toward other mystical beliefs: neopaganism and the occult being a major part of that. In retrospect, I can see that I moving from one ritual-based practice to another because it was the motion and poetry of the rituals that I fell in love with, not the actual theology.

In the past three years, these two systems have been causing me some serious internal dissonance. In trying to find a way to make these things work together, I’ve worked myself into a cycle of doubt that has been crippling. One side, the logical side, tells me that all my beliefs that I cannot prove with facts are bollocks, and the other side reminds me that humans work on a deeper level than mere logic, and that Significance is not fact-based, but instinctual and symbolic. It’s a battle that is deeply troubling.

The effect of all of this is that, when I take the skeptical path, I tend to be bitter and angry, and when I take the spiritual, I’m insecure and full of doubt. I do not like the way my life tastes when I am purely skeptical, but I worry that I will float away into a never-neverland if the spiritual should take over.

I do not know where the balance point in my own life lies, but I’m reasonably certain that I’m not the only person fighting this internal fight. If you are one of those people with this same inner turmoil, how do you balance it? What beliefs have influenced you, shown you where your strength lies, and how did you come to your decision?

Oh, and Wolverine came along, as you can see from the picture.

Twas the night before Samhain and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for my spouse.
The incense, it burned in our cauldron so black,
For Witchcraft and Magick we’d a wonderful knack.

The night before Samhain, Gods bless this house,
A circle of wonder ’round me and my spouse.

– Author Unknown

Happy Samhain to all, and to all a Good Night!

In this episode, we took two minis and combined them into a 15 minute show, with a little help from Rob Balder for the interstitial music. You’ll see what we mean.

Enjoy, and we’ll be back soon with a real, honest-to-gods long-form show.

I was hoping that you could do a show for people new to this. I have just started listening to your podcast and I love it. I have been researching with limited resources. I just was wondering if you had any advice for people who have started to research.

Your wish is our command. Enjoy!

This time, Michelle and Chris discuss the place of Faith and Science in their own worldviews, and take on the larger question of how the two interact in everyday life.

Promo: 7th Son: Obsidian

This morning C.A.’s wife, Kelly, passed away unexpectedly. Our hearts, thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences are with C.A. in this difficult and tragic time.

If you have ever thought about donating to Shadowdance, I’d ask that you please visit the donation site established by Mae Breakall and give what you can to help C.A. cover the expenses that tragic events like these always incur.